looking on

before i could hear my alarm my brain was doing this whole defragmenting craze, i could almost hear the sound of it. processing. it prolly was the sound that woke me, rather that my loyal alarm that can never wake me up because it's on snooze. by me, of cos.

you know, the moment when you are neither awake or asleep.
images, thoughts, words doing a wild dance in my mind.
too much things going on inside.
things i need to do when i get to work. things bothering me. things i've said. things i've would have said. things i'm longing for. things i need to think about.

for some peculiar way... it helped me see who i am. not beautiful.
see, in that dream or (was it?) my train of thoughts, my body was trapped in somekind of invisible straitjacket.. caught in this situation, reacting like how my usual self would.
but as i am looking on as a 3rd person, i wished i wouldnt be like that if it ever happens.
will i have a dejavu moment?